When we find ourselves in conversations that have a lot of emotion, energy, or potential to go somewhere unpleasant, it is helpful to do a few things: 

1. Don’t assume malicious intent
2. Separate the content from the person and investigate what the source of the emotion is coming from
3. Clarify what you do want out of the situation
4. Clarify what you don’t want out of the situation
5. Clarify your understanding and define action items